Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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