since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
