think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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