If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
