Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
zippers are such a cool invention
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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