i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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