You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
