its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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