He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
