oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Randomize
