I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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