My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
