I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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