Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
