We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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