when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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