Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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