.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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