maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
