Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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