Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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