Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
