so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
