two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize