Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
