Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
