Just mADE A PArabola og urine
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
