I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
