I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
