my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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