i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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