Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize