I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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