I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
