I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
