So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
