Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize