Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
