I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
