I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Randomize
