let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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