I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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