so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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