glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
