He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
