I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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