FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We are all done wearing pants today
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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