so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
