I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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