now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
