You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
