you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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