I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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