It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
