Taylor Swift is so right about you.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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