Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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