sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
