okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
