we're chasing vodka with high fives
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
