I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
