"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
